What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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