idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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