I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize