I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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