Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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