You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
