well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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