FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
