A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
40s are totally the cure
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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