I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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