wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
