U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Randomize
