she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
whose parrot is this?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
