Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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