Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
