I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
