mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
