just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize