Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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