How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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