don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
