Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
