Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize