She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
