You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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