I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
