I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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