i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Congratulations! We have a period
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