I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Randomize