I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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