i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
