Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
pop tarts are not kleenex
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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