gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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