Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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