return my video game
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
