Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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