u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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