Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
