hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
