If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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