ADVERTISEMENT

• (954): View more from Florida

  you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.

  Fav 21 6555 1017

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer

  Fav 7 1323 4245

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.

  Fav 6 1907 1457

  share tweet
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?

  Fav 14 1507 773

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it

  Fav 3 1466 682

  share tweet
  

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.

  Fav 3 1119 576

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (347): View more from New York

  It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.

  Fav 9 2041 1086

  share tweet
  

• (240): View more from Maryland

  If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters

  Fav 7 1414 713

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you

  Fav 2 1067 509

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (586): View more from Michigan

  Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.

  Fav 5 836 534

  share tweet
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.

  Fav 2 1130 596

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (503): View more from Oregon

  Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?

  Fav 5 460 839

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  I still have a little drunk in my system

  Fav 2 449 228

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat

  Fav 1 425 227

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (416): View more from Toronto

  Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants

  Fav 0 9 31

  share tweet
  

Randomize