just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.