just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.