He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I deserve this hangover.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects