Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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