I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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