You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
