So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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