did you get engaged???
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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