I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
