eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
