your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
