you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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