hell yes lets make some ravioli
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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