Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize