im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
