so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
