"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
