He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
