This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
