Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Never let your siblings swipe right.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
