well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
