i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize