I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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