I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Having a random hookup so left but love u
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize