I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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